Laugh Till You Cry Funny Stories
1. Patrick's doppelgänger:
Mick is the bartender is a Dublin bar and Patrick is sitting at the counter drinking. Suddenly Patrick says to Mick, "You see that guy over there? Don't you think he looks just like me?"
"Yes he does", says Mick humoring him.
Patrick then walks over to his doppelgänger and says, "Excuse me sir, but I couldn't help noticing that you and I look so much alike."
"You're right, we really do look alike", says the guy.
"Where are you from?" asks Patrick.
"I'm from Rathmines" says the guy.
"Which street?" Patrick then asks.
"Mayo Abbey Street" says the guy.
"Mayo Abbey Street?" says Patrick. "Now that's incredible. That's my street too. What number?"
"I live at 47" the guy responds.
"47?" says Patrick. "I don't believe it! Me too! What are your parents' names?"
"Thomas and Bernadette" says the guy.
"That's unbelievable" Patrick responds. "My parents have the same names."
Just then Mick's colleague Jim arrives on shift.
"How's it going Mick?" says Jim. "Has there been much happening tonight?"
"Not really" Mick responds, "oh, except for the O'Donnell twins being drunk again."
2. Pumping out the tank:
A C-5 Galaxy military transport aircraft is being prepared for departure at a US Air Force base in Greenland.
The crew's waiting for a truck to arrive so that the aircraft's sewage tank can be pumped out.
Nothing's going quite to plan and the aircraft commander is growing impatient.
When the truck eventually shows up, the airman carrying out the pumping task on the tank is extremely slow and seems to take an age.
Eventually the commander has had enough and he snaps and threatens to punish the airman for being so slow.
"Sir, I have no stripes, it's twenty five below zero, I'm stationed in Greenland miles from civilization, and I'm pumping sewage." the airman responds. "What could you possibly do that would punish me further?"
3. The artist:
An artist asks the gallery owner if there has been any interest in any of the paintings he currently has on display.
"Well, I have some good news and some bad news for you", the owner replies.
"What's the good news?" asks the artist.
"Well a gentleman inquired about your work and he asked me whether the paintings would appreciate in value after your death", says the owner.
"Really?" inquires the artist.
"Yes, and when I told him they would he bought all thirty of your paintings" the owner continued.
"Wow, that's fantastic news!" says the artist. "So what's the bad news?"
"The gentleman said he was your doctor" the owner responds.
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